I've been seeing Juanita Murakami off and on since high school and just recently it's gotten a lot more serious so I proposed to her just the night before last. She said yes and we celebrated with a private romantic date. Yesterday, she hits me with a bomb and tells me that not only does she have a little girl, but also that I'm the little girl's dad! Needless to say, I was shocked. I couldn't understand why she never told me. This child is in grade school so it's not like she was just born last week! Juanita said that at first she was worried that I would think she was trying to trap me because of my family's money. Then, just as she was feeling confident enough to tell me, I had broken up with her and we didn't see each other again until after Marissa was born. I feel terrible about my timing. I didn't even have good reason other than I wanted more freedom. I'm angry, too. Regardless of her reasons, I feel like I had the right to know sooner.
One of the worst parts of all this is that I only found out because Marissa snuck Juanita's phone and called me saying, "Dad, will you come see me today?" I thought it was some sort of goofy prank until Juanita took the phone. I had them both come over so I could meet Marissa and talk with Juanita.
After keeping such a huge secret for that long and the way I had to find out (was Juanita ever going to tell me??) I'm having doubts about the proposal. That's a lot of shadiness going on about big things. I do want the chance to get to know my daughter and spend time with her though.
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